Update

So when I went in for my first ultrasound we found out that I was about twice as far along as I thought I was which was a bit of a shock for me. I'm better now but at first it was a little overwhelming to say the least. As far as Deen goes nothing has changed there other than that he needs to learn that when I say that I'm busy and will call him later that doesn't mean continue to talk until I give in because I am over that!!!

This weekend was pretty crazy but fun at the same time. My mom and I went garage saling on Friday and Saturday and we got a lot of stuff to put in my Dad's condo in Muskegon. I got a few baby things but ubtil we are sure about what I am having I'm not going to be doing much looking. Lauren's birthday party turned out good and Sunday I got some much needed rest. Other than that I really don't have much going on. Well that's all for now I hope I can continue to get better at doing this more often but who knows!!!!!

So yeah once again I find myself thinking that I am terrible about sitting down and doing this. I have finally decided that I am going to tell Deen. I guess I feel like it will cause less of a mess if it comes from me and not someone else. But at the same time I amgoing to make it clear that we are over and I am not going back to being with him no matter what he does becuase as always it will only change long enough for me to get sucked back in and as soon as I think things will be okay they will return to being messed up as usual. I guess I just have to figure out when and how I am going to do all of this becuase I am sacred about how he is going to react to all of this but in the end I guess it really doesn't matter because I've decided that no matter what he does I am going to be okay. Well I guess that's all I have for now!!!!!